Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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