so that wasnt chicken after all
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
