I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
