I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
