Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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