I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
