I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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