she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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