actually, I'm a sock model
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
