I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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