evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
