is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
