"it" just moved
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
