stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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