i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
