Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
