You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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