Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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