So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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