you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
