We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
