i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
