it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
ok first of all what the fuck
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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