when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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