we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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