Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize