you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
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i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
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Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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