who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
