Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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