How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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