So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
