so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize