they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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