At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
