He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
