worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
