i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize