She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
