I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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