Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
