why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
