ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize