we're blogging at a bar
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
