Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize