The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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