I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
