He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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