Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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