Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I booty called her while she was in labor.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize