Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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