Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
