My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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