Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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