Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
...so i touched it.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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