wat bout pragnant strippers??
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
