I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
