YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
