oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
