a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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