break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
