i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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