I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
